Adoption FAQ

NEED ADOPTION HELP?

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

An Adoption FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) is important for a birth mother because it helps her to better understand the adoption process and make informed decisions about her options. Our FAQ provides detailed information about the adoption process, the rights of the birth mother, and the options available for the child, including open, closed, or semi-open adoptions.

Our FAQ also covers questions that birth mothers commonly have about the type of adoption they want, the type of adoptive parents they prefer, and the type of contact they wish to have with their child after the adoption. Adoption FAQ is essential because it empowers birth mothers with knowledge and helps to ensure that they make the right choices for themselves and their child.

WHY CHOOSE ADOPTION?

An unplanned pregnancy can leave you feeling confused and scared. Sometimes the father is not around or refuses to take responsibility. Sometimes your immediate family may be upset or unsupportive. Perhaps you are struggling to make ends meet or trying to further your education or career. Maybe you are already parenting a child or children and know you cannot take on the further responsibility of raising another child. Creating an adoption plan can be a positive and loving experience for all concerned as long as the decision is your own and not due to the influences of others.

I'VE DECIDED THAT ADOPTION IS THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR ME. WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP?

At Adoption Choices of Oklahoma, we offer face-to-face support. We have counselors in Tulsa and Oklahoma City and travel to all parts of the state. Our staff will come to you. You will be assigned a Birth Parent Counselor. She/he will schedule a face-to-face intake appointment with you; your birth parent counselor will help you to complete the required paperwork. Once paperwork is complete, the agency will pull adoptive family profiles that match your preferences. After you are matched, your Birth Parent Counselor will continue to support you. She will speak with you about your hospital plan, take you to doctor appointments, and provide transportation for any other pregnancy related needs. Your Birth Parent Counselor will be present during the birth and is there to advocate for you. During this time, you can spend time with the baby and see the adoptive family.

CAN I CHOOSE THE FAMILY FOR MY BABY?

Yes! You can play an active role in selecting the adoptive parents for your child. First, you describe what is important to you in an adoptive family. Then, Adoption Choices will provide profiles of adoptive parents that meet your criteria. We have several families waiting to adopt through our agency. You may choose to meet the family as well. Your personal involvement provides comforting reassurance about your child’s lifestyle and future.

CAN THE AGENCY HELP ME WITH LIVING EXPENSES?

The agency will provide court approved living expenses to those birth mothers who are in need of help in Oklahoma. Living expenses might include rent, utilities, transportation, and pregnancy related medical expenses. We also provide assistance while you are recovering from the birth and can not return to work. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma understands how difficult it is to get back on your feet and return to work after delivering a baby.

HOW MUCH CONTACT WILL I HAVE WITH THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS AFTER PLACEMENT?

The adoption process includes a variety of openness including: closed, semi open, and open adoptions. Ongoing correspondence is definitely an option for you as a birth mother. We require that the adoptive family be open to sending pictures and letters at least once a year until the baby reaches the age of eighteen (18). You are also able to send the adoptive family letters and pictures. The exchange of letters and pictures occurs through Child Connect.

Child Connect allows adoptive families to exchange and add photos and videos to your child’s Lifebook anytime they wish. The program, Child Connect, also allows you the ability to see the photos and videos. You can also upload pictures, videos, and letters to Child Connect.

Child Connect will mail you 4×6 prints of the pictures as well as a Lifebook. You can also view all pictures and letters on-line anytime you want.

CAN I DO THE ADOPTION WITHOUT THE FATHER?

Many birth fathers consent to the adoption. Birth Fathers are also invited to play an active role in the adoption if they want. However, if the birth father does not wish to consent, you do not know the whereabouts of the birth father, or he would like to speak to an agency representative, our agency (and/or) attorney is/are available to speak to you about your specific situation and proceedings with the adoption. Oklahoma has specific laws about the rights of birth fathers, which we can discuss further with you.

WILL I HAVE TO GO TO COURT TO GIVE MY CONSENT?

In Oklahoma, birth mother’s must sign relinquishment in front of a judge after discharging from the hospital. This court date is typically scheduled within 72 hours of hospital discharge. Each birth parent is given counseling before the birth, so that all parties are aware of their rights of signing the relinquishment. Once signed, the relinquishment is irrevocable and can not be withdrawn. Birth parents are provided legal counsel to help explain relinquishment before signing.

WHEN WILL THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY TAKE THE BABY HOME?

In most situations, the adoptive family are at the hospital while the birth mother is in labor. If you would like, the family can even be in the delivery room with you. Considering if the couple lives out of state, the agency suggests they come to Oklahoma a day or two before your estimated due date. If you deliver early they will be on the next flight out of their home town.
The baby generally discharges from the hospital and goes with the adoptive family. If the adoptive family is from out of state, the baby can not go home until after you go to court to relinquish your rights. Approval from both Oklahoma and the adoptive family’s home state also has to be given before the baby can go home.

DOES THE AGENCY PROVIDE PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING SERVICES FOR SUPPORT?

Yes! The agency works with licensed counselors that offer our birth parents Counseling to help them learn to deal more effectively with situations in their lives. Counseling services are optionally available throughout the pregnancy and up to 6 months after delivery. The process allows birth parents to feel more comfortable with themselves and helps develop life coping skills.

MEDICAID: HOW TO QUALIFY AND APPLY FOR MEDICAID

You can apply for Medicaid through the Health Insurance Marketplace or directly with your state Medicaid agency. Learn more.

WHAT KINDS OF ADOPTION DO YOU OFFER?

Adoption Choices of Oklahoma specializes in open adoption.

Openness in adoption is a continuum and no single arrangement is right for everyone. Through careful consideration of options, a child-focused approach and commitment, you will be able to decide on the amount of openness that is right for your family. While birth parent and adoptive parent relationships may seem awkward at first, over time, the involved individuals typically become more comfortable with the plan they have chosen and pleased with their decisions. Creating openness between the birth family and the adoptive family provides a child with a lifetime of loving and meaningful relationships.

Please remember, in open adoptions and semi open adoptions, the level of openness is changing and shifting throughout the adoption and after birth. Adoption Choices of Oklahoma seeks to create personalized adoption plans that best meet the needs of the child. You, as the birth parent, are able to first specify the kind of contact you hope for. Prospective adoptive families will be aware of the kind of contact you hope for before their profile is shown to you.

OPEN ADOPTION:

In an Open Adoption, birth parents and adoptive parents are in direct contact with one another and share identifying information with each other. This type of adoption may involve the methods listed above in the semi-open adoption as well as in-person visits, without going through the Agency. The plan for openness is decided and agreed upon by both the birth parents and the adoptive parents. Open adoptions allow the child to connect more easily to his or her birth parents and to maintain a relationship. Keep in mind, the level of openness is always changing and shifting throughout the adoption and after placement; relationships change as time goes on.

Advantages/Disadvantages: Open adoption allows for ongoing contact between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. This contact generally begins when the birth parent first selects the adoptive parents, and this helps to remove much of the secrecy of adoption. The openness continues as adoptive parents are able to answer questions the child may have as they grow older. Some birth parents feel that openness may be too difficult emotionally. It is important to remember than an open adoption, like all relationships, is ever changing. At times, contact may occur more often while at other times there may not be regular contact.

SEMI-OPEN ADOPTION:

In a Semi-Open Adoption, birth parents and adoptive parents usually meet prior to the birth of the child, and the adoptive parents are often times present for the birth. After placement, communication, such as pictures, texting, phone calls, letters and emails, may occur. Last names and addresses of both parties are not disclosed, unless otherwise agreed upon by the birth parents and adoptive parents. This type of adoption allows for communication between the birth parents and adoptive parents while also maintaining some privacy. Keep in mind, the level of openness is always changing and shifting throughout the adoption and after placement; relationships change as time goes on.

Advantages/Disadvantages: Semi-open adoptions have the benefit of continuing contact between the birth parents and the adoptive parents but generally at a lesser degree than in a fully open adoption. For birth parents who feel contact might be too emotionally difficult, a semi-open adoption allows them to know how their child is doing by receiving updates. The child will grow up knowing who the birth parents are.

CLOSED ADOPTION:

In a Closed Adoption, there is no contact between the birth parents and adoptive parents. Closed adoptions tend to be less common than open and semi-open adoptions. Generally, there is no personal information shared with either the birth parents or the adoptive parents in this type of adoption.

Advantages/Disadvantages: Many birth parents select this type of adoption as they feel that any type of openness would be too difficult emotionally. However, the child many not know the reasons the birth parents chose adoption, which can be difficult for the child. It can also be difficult for birth parents as they will not be provided information on how their child is moving forward.

Please Note: In the State of Oklahoma, semi-open and open adoption agreements (informal and formal) are not enforceable by law. However, a written agreement should be completed and birth parents and adoptive parents should be given a copy as well as a copy being placed in the file. Adoption is built on trust; the birth parents and Adoption Choices of Oklahoma trust that the adoptive parents will participate in the semi-open or open adoption.

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